My quest for the perfect ‘it’ and why

Whether it is called hook, logline, blurb, selling point, promo copy, or the old fashioned description, a writer needs to create something that entices, lures, snares, traps or otherwise induces the innocent to tap or click the buy button to download  the writers self published e-Book, a book that will enthrall, entertain, dazzle and delight. The writer needs the ‘it.’

In truth it is a calling card. Write a good description, one that shows some degree of writing ability and the potential reader is likely to make a purchase. If you write good copy then it follows the book must also be good. But writing that brief description is the hardest part of writing for many, myself included.

Over the past few years I have rewritten, edited, and changed the copy for all five of my books innumerable times and like the Great White Hunter of Bigfoot, my search continues. I revisit my descriptions to see what is wrong, how better can I make it. The following is an example for “Loonies in the Dugout.” 

The book is a fictional account of the mysterious Charlie Faust and how he influenced the Giants to win the pennant. His story is told through the eyes of rookie Chet Koski who is trying to woo chorus girl Eveleen Sullivan while trying to figure out big league pitching. A satire on fame and celebrity based on a true story in which Chet and Charlie meet Bat Masterson, George M. Cohen, Damon Runyon, and many others.

BORING.

I did not think so at the time, but with fresh eyes I see how dreadful it is. It is flat, matter-of-fact, does not engage, does not indicate a sense of style. I recently changed it to the following.

How does a 21-yeard old rookie off a Minnesota farm figure out how to hit big league pitching in New York when he is trying to woo chorus girl Eveleen Sullivan? Harder still when you find yourself becoming the guardian angel for the mysterious Charlie Faust who believes apple pie gives him pitching strength, even though he never pitches. Based on a true story about the 1911 New York Giants and the influence of Charlie Faust, featuring Bat Masterson, Damon Runyon, George M. Cohan, and the New York Giants of 1911.

Is it perfect.? No. But it is an improvement. It poses a question that engages the reader to think-however briefly. Within the first sentence it is indicated that this kid is in the big city, is trying to ‘figure out’ pitching and wooing, indicating perhaps a coming of age story. The next sentence indicates the kid is good guy because he is looking after a strange man, posing another question, a mystery of who this Charlie Faust is. Why does he love apple pie? Why does he think it gives him pitching strength-and he never pitches. And silly, yes maybe, but. . .it is based on a true story.

I think the second description is more colorful, less dry, more engaging. But of course, in a few months I may look at it and go “Yuck!”

But this is what writing is. Rewriting. And you are not stuck with your novel either. Yes, you can rewrite that as well. Mary Shelley did that with “Frankenstein” changing the nature of the good doctor and cutting a scene or two in a revised edition. Usually a writers first instincts are best and her original story is far superior.

But that is not true when searching for the perfect pitch to your novel.

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Yale students want Shakespeare banned

An Ivy League university like Yale should be the epitome of higher learning. Yet in these hallowed halls the ivy is browning as a petition surfaced that demanded the English Department drop Shakespeare, Chaucer, Milton, Wordsworth, John Donne, among others because studying ‘white writers’ creates a ‘hostile environment for people of color.’

Now this could be a prank. The author of the petition is anonymous. This of course means he or she can hide while watching the national media pick up the story, laughing all the way to class. 

But considering the age we live in, a time in which a segment of the population, whose perception of injustice to minorities over centuries is nothing short of umbrageous hypersensitivity, then one can understand there are those who believe this an honest attempt at protest.

What purpose of dropping Shakespeare and other ‘white writers’ from the English curriculum serve? It is illogical, inane, and let’s be honest. It is racist. Racism, after all, is not the sole domain of the white race. It exists within the dark hearts of all races, nationalities, and genders.

It is not as if people of color are ignored at Yale. The most popular course, according to the article and the Fox news interview, is “Race and Gender in American Literature.” Yale also teaches classes on women writers, African-American writers, Asian writers, to name just a few other options.

I am annoyed that I even have to post a blog about a petition that is so outrageously stupid. Even if it is a prank it is stupid. I question whether the originator of the petition is even in the English program. The study of centuries dead white writers has nothing to do with race and everything to do with art. There is not one word, not one scene, not one iota of proof that the writings of these men could create any ‘hostile environment to people of color.’ One might as well argue Ray Bradbury’s “Martian Chronicles” shows hostility to aliens from other planets.

And nowhere is there an explanation-I repeat-nowhere in the petition is given any explanation as to why or how these writers create a hostile environment. No theory, no premise, no thoughts. Merely unpedantic demagoguery. In other words-bullshit. This is why I think it could be a prank, or a hoax.

If not, it is someone’s ill-intentioned, misinformed, unintellectual, ill thought, distorted thinking-or lack of thinking, misdirected prevarication that serves no purpose for people of any color. If the author of the petition-if that is the word for it-truly believes what he/she wrote, they do not belong at Yale. One must ask why the person is in a higher institution of earning when they show an inability for basic critical thinking. But the person does need to be institutionalized.

 

Amazon’s marketing analytics for writers must change

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I previously posted a blog about my ad campaign for “Loonies in the Dugout,” selling for .99 by the way. The campaign was approved, then soon after it began Amazon stopped it because of low relevance. To be honest how does one get ‘low relevance’ on the third day. I assumed the problem was that there were no categories in the marketing campaign listings for my e-book that is ‘sports fiction/satire’ so I  used literary fiction, the closest I could get. In my second attempt, after learning the campaign was stopped, I added sports/outdoors. The campaign was approved for the second time.

I had bid .70 cost per click, and I was getting .60. That seems good, but maybe I’m wrong. In the information I received from Amazon, it was estimated that my campaign, May 13 through June 8 would generate only five sales. They stopped the campaign on the third day and I had sold seven books, two more than projected, and I still had 22 days to go. Yet the email said customers were not engaging with the ad. Huh? Seven sales in less than three days, more than they said I would get.

They also suggested I increase my bid as it could be getting beat by other ads that were bidding higher for better placement. Sorry, I’m not taking the bait. I like my book, I want people to read it. That was why I lowered the price and created the ad campaign. But I will not increase my bid when it started so well.

In my original email to Amazon I said they should consider adding ‘sports fiction’ and ‘satire’ in their marketing campaign listings for targeting. They answered that they appreciate the feedback and would consider it at a future date. In their second email to me after telling them I had sold 7 books in first three days, out doing their projections, I received the following, “I’ll take your concern as feature request and communicate the same to our business team for consideration as we plan future improvements. I’m unable to promise a timeframe at this time, however, we are still evolving and feedback like yours motivate us to dive deep and unearth ways and means which helps us in making publishing on KDP a happy experience.  Please be sure to check our forums periodically for updates.”

Nothing against the forums, I have used them, but it takes a lot of ambling around to find the specifics you seek and the answers are not always helpful, nor are they necessarily correct. Why doesn’t Amazon just post something on the appropriate marketing page, saying ‘new and improved.’

I do like Amazon. I have made many purchases with them and I am sure they have enjoyed my money. I will take them at their word, that they are evolving and are seeking ways to improve (making more money), that they will ‘dive deep and unearth ways to improve,’ but I will also continue to check in to see if and when they change their methodology. They clearly need a better understanding of low relevance. Consider that they say they compare ‘like’ ads for effectiveness, but also say they don’t have specific numbers. If you compare things you learn something, yet they imply otherwise.

I will try again with other titles this summer, hoping my relevance improves.

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Free paranormal short story to chill your bones this weekend

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This short story, “A Walk through the Cemetery” appears in one of my e-Books, “More Cemetery Tales and other Phantasms” and is copyrighted, but I offer it for you this weekend.

A piercing shriek roared through the evergreens; loud, hard, and violent, then died as soon as it began. A small branch, high in an evergreen, snapped off from a longer limb and fell to the ground. Leaves fluttered down from nearby maples. Upon hearing the howl a man walking in the cemetery stopped and looked up at the swaying tree tops. A storm coming he thought as he looked at the dark gray clouds swiftly arriving from the east, beginning to blot out the sun.

He walked through the cemetery nearly every day since his retirement. Good for the heart. Build up the legs as well. Mountain View Cemetery took up a few city blocks in length, so it was a good walk from end to end, then a few blocks to the park with a small lake where he once saw a river otter swimming.  There was a dog park farther down from the lake. Also there were sheltered picnic areas, ball fields, and a wading pool. Years ago he attended a memorial service in one of the shelters for a deceased relative. 

He thought about that service when he was walking through the cemetery last week. There appeared to be a celebration going on. A grave had dozens of balloons, the kind you find in grocery stores with writing on them, tied down with rocks. Cars were parked along the back of the cemetery where people were greeting each other like it was a reunion; everybody drinking something from cups, kids eating hot dogs, grownups with chicken in their hands. The man did not know whether to chuckle at a picnic in a cemetery or be impressed that so many came to honor what must be a deceased relative.

Today the cemetery was quiet, nobody in sight. Except for the man sitting on a small John Deere tractor with a large claw that was digging up dirt. As he neared the man he saw that there were two by fours on each side of the rectangular pit. It was a grave, one being made new and fresh for an occupant.

He watched for a minute. Then the man got off the tractor, got a long pole and placed it in the pit at various spots. “Are you measuring to make sure it is all even,” he asked.

The man with the pole said nothing.

“I didn’t mean to bother you. I have never seen a grave dug before that’s all. It’s kind of interesting. Not to you of course. To you it’s work. Do you mind if I watch?”

The man with the pole set it down and climbed back onto the tractor. The claw scooped out more dirt, and then the arm of the claw swiveled around and dropped the dirt into a wagon. After this was done twice the man climbed down once again and did his measuring. He began to stomp down a section of the pit close to where the tractor was.

“I’m guessing it must be close to being done huh?”

The man in the pit said nothing.

“Did you hear that wind screeching a few minutes ago? That was something wasn’t it?”

The man in the pit climbed out, walked to the tractor, opened a knapsack, took out a sandwich, took a bite, then placed the sandwich in a plastic bag, and placed it in the knapsack.  

“Is there some kind of rule about not talking to gravediggers, or whatever you call yourselves? I’m just trying to be civil and thought it interesting what you were doing. Forgive me if I am being out of line, but are you a mute? I’m not trying to be funny here, just wondering why you won’t talk with me.”

The gravedigger, if that was what he was, walked about ten yards to a grave and set upright a small vase that had fallen over. He walked away leaving the man to himself. The man walked over to the grave where the grave digger had set the vase and reading the headstone realized the man resting below was a new arrival, having died a few days ago.

He looked for the gravedigger, but did not see him. The man continued his walk until he was at the entrance. He stopped, though he did not know why. But he did not want to walk to the park. For some reason he wanted to continue to walk here. So he walked, not down his normal path, but on the path that took him along the outer edges, a much longer walk. After about twenty minutes he encountered another man who was raking up some fall leaves.

“Excuse me, but do you work here?”

“Yes, can I help you with something?”

“It’s about a co-worker of yours, the other one here today.”

“I am the only one working today. What man are you talking about?”

“He was over there; you see where the tractor is. He was digging a grave, then got out and looked to be measuring the depth of the grave, I guess anyway, with a pole.”

“And when did this happen?”

“Oh, I don’t know. About half an hour ago, give or take.”

Uh huh. Well I didn’t see him.”

“I did. The tractor is about what, fifty yards or more from here. Maybe you didn’t see him because you’re here working.”

“I wasn’t here half an hour ago. Just came over here a few minutes ago.”

“Well this guy had a knapsack in the tractor and I saw him reach in and get a bite of a sandwich.”

“What kind was it? Ham and cheese?”

“I don’t know what kind?”

“Well what about this guy you’re talking about anyway. What’s the problem?”

“I was watching him and asked some questions about what he was doing. But he would not answer me. I was trying to be friendly and all and he ignored me like I wasn’t even there. Don’t see the reason for him to be rude.”

The man with the rake lost a little color in his face. “What did this man look like?”

“Well he was maybe about fifty or so, not to good with figuring a man’s age you know. But was tanned like he worked outdoors, and his skin was real smooth, kind of aristocratic you might say. Tall and lean.”

The man with the rake shook his head. “Don’t know him, never seen him, don’t want to see him.”

“What is going on here? If you don’t know him, aren’t you worried about him fooling around with your equipment? Was that your sandwich he took a bite from?”

“Look, the next time you see him, just leave him alone. And be grateful he doesn’t talk with you. He is not somebody you want to know and you, for sure, do not want to engage in any conversation with him, about anything.”

“So you do know him then? What’s his story?”

“The truth I told you. I don’t know him, but I know of him. Just let it be, forget about it.”

The man with the rake then dropped it and walked hurriedly away towards an area where the tractor was stored.

 

Just forget about it he says, thought the old man later as he sat in his home watching a show on TV called “Diggers,” about two men with metal detectors who go to historic sights looking for artifacts. How do you forget something like this? Why was this gravedigger, if that was what he was, being so rude and why did the man with the rake tell me to stay away from the man he has never seen in the first place. None of it made sense.

The old man did not have a restful night. Sleep came in awkward fits, awakened by the sensation of something, maybe a spider crawling up his leg; then later on his other leg. He brushed the sensation or spiders away. The sound of what seemed like somebody standing outside his window scratching softly on the glass. He felt probed and poked. He woke up, but nobody was there. Sounds real or imagined-and if imagined-just as real, for delusions have their own reality, kept him awake. He would not give into sleep. He would remain watchful, vigilant. Finally the sounds, the sensations went away. All was still. His eyes weary, feeling nothing, sleep came whether wanted or not.

He awoke the next morning without any memory of a sleepless night. In fact he felt at peace, rested and refreshed. He was not hungry, but eager for a walk, so he headed out to the cemetery.

The morning was sunny and warm, birds chirping; a late autumn gift to soothe woes, lift spirits, the last chance to enjoy the warmth of the sun before winter brings gray skies, cold weather to chill the bones.

The man enjoyed the walk through the pioneer section of the cemetery, a section thick with evergreens, dirt roads, and tombstones so old that one was tipped askew; facing a tree as if looking into a mirror, the name and dates of the deceased could not be read without bending down and around and then the weathered name was near impossible to make out.

When he came to the columbarium the evergreens gave way to a few maples, but mostly clear spaces with long rows of graves. When he walked from the dirt trail to the paved path he saw the tractor exactly where it was yesterday and standing next to it was the aristocratic man who would not speak with him. He was standing next to an open grave below a canopy, chairs aligned facing the grave.

The man walked up to the tall and lean man and asked, “Do you remember me from yesterday?”

“It wasn’t yesterday, it was a couple of days ago, but of course, I do remember you.”

“You may be younger than me, but I know it was yesterday. I am not senile. Why wouldn’t you talk with me? What’s wrong with you anyway?”

“Don’t let appearances deceive you. I am much older than you. I did not talk with you because there was nothing I had to say to you. I was aware of your questions, but really, it was obvious what I was doing. I really don’t like small talk. I knew you would return and I knew your questions would be answered. I am patient. All things in their time.”

“You’re an odd duck. I talked to your buddy yesterday. He says you don’t work here, that I shouldn’t talk with you. So what are you doing here?”

“Well, ‘my buddy’ as you call him is not my buddy. He is the caretaker here at Mountain View. I am merely the gravedigger. We have separate responsibilities and never see each other. I don’t think he likes me much, not many do I’m afraid.”

“Well if you don’t talk with people you won’t have any friends. Kind of obvious don’t you think?”

“I talk with people when the time is right.”

“I guess the time is right for me because here we are chatting.”

“Yes the time is right.”

“So who died?”

“Look for yourself.” He pointed towards the head of the grave. The man walked over and stood in front of it. He did not know whether to laugh or be mad. He looked to the tall and lean man who was smiling.

“Some joke. What’s the gag? This headstone has my name on it and yet I am here talking with you. Standing right here, standing and talking, and you are listening and talking. We are talking here.”

“Yes we are talking aren’t we?”

“Well then, I’m not dead, I’m alive.”

“Are you?”

“Of course I am you nut. I can’t be dead if I’m talking with you. That caretaker guy said there was something wrong with you, that I should stay away from you and now I know why. You’re going to get into trouble for this. What happens when the mourners arrive and see the name on the headstone?  What then huh?”

“Do you hear anything?”

“What? What do you mean ‘do I hear anything?’ Of course I do. I hear you don’t I?”

“Did you hear the cars arrive? Did you hear the car doors being opened? Do you presently hear any voices besides mine?”

The old man turned and looked. He saw his cousin Pamela first, then Denny, Brad, John, Mindy, all cousins. He saw his children, his grandchildren. He saw friends, acquaintances, business associates. Everyone he saw, he knew. He called to them. They did not answer. He walked up to them and said hello. They did not answer. Frustrated, he walked back to the tall and lean man. “I am not dead. I am standing here. I am wearing cargo pants, a Hawaiian shirt. I am not in a coffin. This is quite a prank, but it’s not funny anymore.”

“You did request, did you not, to be buried in comfortable clothing, saying cargo pants and a Hawaiian shirt?”

The old man thought for a second. “Of course you would know that. It is part of the prank. I told a few people about what I wanted. It is in my lawyer’s file. Of course you would know and be part of all this.”

“But alive you would be wearing shoes. Are you wearing shoes?”

The old man looked down. “I forgot them. I was eager to go for a walk, to see you, to find out what was going on with you yesterday, to question your rudeness.”

“And did you have breakfast. I think not.”

“I wasn’t hungry, that’s all.”

“But you always have breakfast. Don’t you?”

“This is absurd.”

Everyone was seated. Some man he did not know was speaking about the old man. The old man looked at the tall and lean man, and then turned and walked away. He was going to resume his walk. He was going to walk to the park today, to see the lake, maybe the river otter, stop at store for a candy bar. He would not take part in this stupid joke.

As he approached the building housing the tractors he saw the caretaker. He walked up to him, raking leaves as he was yesterday, and said, “That stupid gravedigger talked to me today. You were right. He is somebody you don’t want to talk with, what a nut case.”

The caretaker said nothing.

“Oh for God’s sake. Are you in on this joke too; they get to you. Who is responsible for this anyway? You must know?”

The caretaker said nothing.

“The joke’s over. I’m on to you guys. Very elaborate. Everybody I know is involved, but it’s over. You can tell me, you can talk with me.”

The caretaker said nothing.

“He can’t hear you.” It was the tall and lean man.

“You know I’m going to walk out of here you know. I just am. You can’t stop me. This is not funny.”

“You are free to walk wherever you want to go. It changes nothing. The last time you saw me I would not talk with you because it was not the right time, but the caretaker talked with you didn’t he. You were alive then. But today is your funeral. The caretaker, your family, your friends, all who came, could not see you, nor hear you. Because you are dead you see. I can talk with you now because I am the gravedigger.”

The old man stared at the tall and lean man, and then turned to stare at the caretaker; the old man’s face grimacing, he turned and walked in circles around the two men, pacing quicker and quicker, anger rising within him. He had enough. He stopped and all the frustration, all the anger, all the fed up emotion came out in one loud, bellowing scream.

A piercing shriek roared through the evergreens; loud, hard, and violent, then died as soon as it began. A small branch, high in an evergreen, snapped off from a longer limb and fell to the ground. Leaves fluttered down from nearby maples. Upon hearing the howl a woman walking slowly in the cemetery stopped and looked up at the swaying tree tops. A storm coming she thought as she looked at the dark gray clouds swiftly arriving from the east, beginning to blot out the sun.

 

Thanks for reading my story. I hope you enjoyed it.

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How I lost my identity through writing fiction.

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It started innocently enough. I was working on character names for my first e-novel, “Loonies in the Dugout” and thought I would use the first names of my father and two uncles for three fictional characters. But I also wanted to use my mother’s name, but this was a baseball novel and there was not going to be that many female characters. So I used my dad’s first name Chet, for the lead character, and my mother’s last name Koski for Chet’s last name. Though I got to honor my mom and dad in one character, I did not anticipate what would happen.

I enjoyed Chet and his girlfriend Eveleen so much I wanted to use them in another story, so I went from 1911 in my first book to 1922 in Hollywood for my second book in which Chet and Eveleen, now married, solve the murder of William Desmond Taylor. I had no problems in this story, but I got confused in book three.

In “Silent Murder,” set in 1927, there is a murder and it turns out the victim was a cousin of Chet. But he had no idea this was his cousin. So the police, naturally, when they find this out and inform Chet, got me into a family tree to sort out some police questions. And I nearly messed it up. Chet’s fictional last name is Finnish, but I was thinking Danish because that is my real father’s heritage. Yes, I realized later that I could have used the Finnish family tree, but the problem is it was too hard to trace for too many reasons to go into here. So I was stuck staying with a Danish tree for a Finnish character. I had to tinker a bit.

This tree was part of the plot-at the beginning of the story anyway. It is always a possibility that this plotline was a red herring. Had I known while writing the first novel that Mr. Koski would continue in two more stories and another now in progress I would have done things differently. As it is, by using my mother’s maiden name, in the third book I dug a pit that addled my brain about two families. After all I am talking about people from the 1800’s whom I never met.

If I had to do it all over again I would have used my real fathers last name and changed his first name, using perhaps Paul (my mother’s name was Pauline). Or even better, use my fathers middle name as his first, so I would have had Alvin Nelson.  Actually I don’t like that name, Paul would be better, except that is also the middle name of another relative, and that only adds more confusion.

I dug myself into a pit and I am stuck with it. Did I learn a lesson? No. I am using the names of two real life cousins who are cousins in my work in progress, but the two cousins in real life from opposite sides of the family and have never met. I don’t care. The territory is familiar to me. Besides I am too confused about my family tree I no longer know who I am. Writing as many pitfalls.

Two mandates of writing to use in your life

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There are two things a writer, any writer, must do or he will fail. It is unescapable and few writers, if any, like doing it, for that is where the hard work is, but the two mandates can also be applied to your life and it is a good idea to use them .

The first is proofreading. It is sitting down and reviewing what has been written to see what needs changing. And there are mistakes in writing and there are mistakes in one’s life. So in proofreading you examine how do make the story better. Your life is your story, so why not periodically sit down and review you life, check to see what needs improving; what needs fixing and how to fix it.

I remember while proofreading my first e-novel, “Loonies in the Dugout” that two sections, the writing of which I liked, still had to be cut entirely out of the story. Not cleaned up, not revised, but deleted with prejudice. Neither section advanced the story or had any character development. If there is something in your life that is not advancing your story or helping your development, then cut it out.

Cutting things out of your life, as in fiction, is called editing. Yes, you can edit your life for you are the writer, the proofreader, and the publisher. Your audience are friends and family. If you like, you can ask them what they would hope to see you edit out of your life. (not saying they’re right, but it doesn’t hurt to listen).

In the same e-novel I was trying for a theme in the first part of the book. It had to do with heat. The story was true and it began in the summer of 1911 when there was a heat wave, many people died during this time. So I had a lot of metaphors, similes, and descriptions where heat factored in the story. The problem I saw was that it did not work and had to be rewritten. As much as I liked it, it didn’t work, so it had to be changed.

That is the hard part about proofreading and editing your life. There are things you like, say eating three maple bars for breakfast. Who doesn’t love maple bars? But I don’t think three is good for you. Maybe cutting to one, then down to one half, then cutting them out would be a good idea. Blueberries in oatmeal, now that is better for your story.

So that is what I have learned from writing, to sit down, look at my life, see what needs changing, editing, fixing, and to make necessary changes. You can do the same and you don’t have to be a writer.

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What five rules of Journalism also apply to fiction

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Years ago I wrote brief high school sports reports on games I never saw. Honest. There were too many schools and too many games to cover in basketball, wrestling, swimming, and soccer, so somebody from outlying schools would call the newsroom, usually the winning coach, to give me all the stats, after which I would do a brief interview. The sports editor was emphatic that the five W’s should be in the first paragraph. Those five are  ‘who, what, where, when, and why.’ The rest of the article expands the five w’s.

Some fiction does begin with the five w’s, but obviously not all. A clever writer can do it and it might be a good writing exercise, especially for flash fiction.

Those five w’s also apply to fiction. The ‘who’ are the characters, notably the protagonist and the antagonist, the ones who get top billing, but all other relevant characters as well. The ‘where’ is the setting of where the story takes place and of course ‘when’ the story takes place. The’ what’ is the story, the action, the plot, the ‘whatever’ the story is including the denouement, the resolution of the plot that explains everything; in other words the ‘why.’ 

Of course the ‘why’ need  not explain everything in black and white. Often a little mystery, or something not quite resolved, or something to make the reader think about the ending is welcome. Not wrapping everything up in a nice little bow is not always for the best. It depends on what you want to leave the reader with and how you built up to that point.

The ‘how’ is sometimes considered the sixth rule of journalism, but that is iffy for a journalist, as one never gets all the facts, nor all the story so the ‘how’ is contingent on what is known. The ‘how’ in fiction, however, should be seamless because the ‘how’ are the tricks of the trade, the things a writer does to make to make the ‘how’ invisible.

Those who are avid readers know that some journalist’s stories often read like fiction in that they use fiction devices in long articles. Conversely some fiction reads like a news story. Clearly the two different modes of writing can become blurred. Not a bad thing. Everyone chooses how best to tell the story, whether it be news or entertainment. We have rules, but how we use them is where the creativity comes into play.

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Challenge your creativity with these stolen writing exercises

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Did the word ‘stolen’ get your attention. Shame on you.

They are not stolen, they are published in John Gardner’s “The Art of Fiction.” If you click on his name you find his Wiki page and a picture of him smoking a pipe. Writer’s back in the day-a long day past-often posed with their pipe. It made them look intellectual. He was that; a Beowulf scholar, professor, and writer. One of his students was the great short story writer, Raymond Carver. Before he died in a motorcycle accident in 1982 I met Mr. Gardner when I was in college.

There were two things I remember from his visit to my college to speak with some of us English Lit majors. First he said “Treasure Island” was something beyond fiction. He tried to explain, then realized he couldn’t explain it. It bothers me to this day. What was he trying to say when he is not sure what he is trying to say. The second is that when I had him sign my copy of his book “Grendel” he said it was his least favorite book, that it was not written well. Yet the book won an award, so there you go, a writer never satisfied with his work. And I respect that.

But he was very engaging and he offered a great writing exercise which I never forgot. He mentions it in the aforementioned book, on fiction, but I will offer some other exercises from the book to challenge your creativity and to make your work better.

For the  exercise to develop technique try this: Describe a landscape as seen by an old woman whose disgusting and detestable old husband has just died. Do not mention the husband or death. Or describe a lake as seen by a young man who has just committed murder. Do not mention murder. Or describe a landscape as seen by a bird. Do not mention the bird. 

To control tone in a complex sentence try this on for size. Write three effective long sentences: each at least 250 words, each involving a different emotion ( anger, pensiveness, sorrow, joy).

There are reasons for the exercises and that is to make your writing better, so get at it.

Thanks John.

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The best writing lesson from a six word story

Ernest Hemmingway is know for many memorable novels. I prefer Fitzgerald for Jazz Age writers, but like food, it is a matter of taste. I like cheese, my brother doesn’t. And he claims to be Scandinavian. But Hemmingway’s six word story is food for a writer to digest. It is the best example of flash fiction I can think of.

In my previous blog I wrote about the simplicity of Bukowski’s opening to his novel “Post Office.” Simplicity was the theme in that post and so is this one. Hemmingway wrote, “Baby clothes for sale, never worn.”

My first thought is the story is a tragedy. The baby died. Since the clothes were never worn, did the mother lose the baby, perhaps it was stillborn. But maybe the clothes were blue and the baby was a girl and the parents want pink. I don’t know.

But what writers can learn is that they need not always be descriptive. If a writer goes into the description of the clothes, the type, the color, the why, it could be the writer is clogging the readers mind with unnecessary information. There are things to tell and things not to tell, because the details are not important.

As I said in my Bukowski blog a writer can get in the way of his story. Elmore Leonard is said to have had a rule of never writing about the weather. If true his tongue may have been in his cheek. In my novel in progress that takes place in western Washington during November of 1927, I mention that it is raining in a couple of scenes. I note that it is the thick misty type of rain that so often inundates the area. But I do no belabor the point, not going into great detail, not over doing it. And it is important to place and atmosphere of the story. But the point is, I kept it simple.

When a writer goes over what he wrote he should not fall in love with his words. He should look at how to cut, what to cut. In doing so, in making it simple, in making it clear, the story is front and center, not the vainglorious wordsmith.