Category Archives: fiction writers

Seven insults not to say to a woman

Posted on by under creative writing, fiction writers
  1. Whipperginnie. An abusive name for a woman used in the 1600’s, it was the equivalent of a derogatory name for a man-snippersnapper, and taking the whipper part of the first word and adding it to the male name you get whippersnapper, an insulting term for a male that has lasted for centuries. My uncle called me a whippersnapper often when I was a child. I thought it meant I was smart as a whip. Now I know better. 
  2. Wallydraigle is a worthless slovenly woman. No offense to men named Wally, but wally is a term insulting somebody’s intelligence or common sense.
  3. Taw-Bess is a slut, a slattern. I have no idea who Bess was, but she was either very bad, or very good. 
  4. Tirliry-Puffkin is light-headed woman, a flighty woman, a flirt.
  5. Daggle-Tail came about from a woman’s garments that were dirtied from being trailed over wet ground, therefore she was a untidy woman, another slut or slattern. Daggle is a term that means to drag through the mud. The Tail I will let you figure out.
  6. Drassock is a drab, untidy woman. Bonus word-Drosell is another word for slut or hussy.
  7. Bronstrops is  prostitute. I think it may be fair to say a bronstrop is a professional drosell and I mean no offense to either.

These words come from the British Isles and were used centuries ago. It shows how language changes and thinking that, you wonder how many words we currently use will be lost centuries from now. There a couple of good words to call a woman of course. And they come from the book that I got these words and definitions from. The book is Poplollies and Bellibones.

Poplolly is a little darling, a female favorite, special loved one, or mistress (but not a bronstrop or drosell)

Bellibone is a lovely maiden, a pretty lass. It is anglicized from the French belle et bonne.

When you look at the seven uncomplimentary names, humorous as they sound, they are harsher than poplolly and Bellibone, both of which have a lovely sound to them. Perhaps if a word sounds bad, it is and if it sounds good, it is.

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Two personality tests to see if you are a writer

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One can argue that the true test of a writer is to have readers and followers as well as book sales with good reviews. But what if you want to write, but are unsure if you have the right personality or temperament. Years ago  I read the book “Please Understand Me” by David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates, both of whom are therapists and diagnosticians. Don’t roll your eyes, this is not a self-help book.

This is a book, test included, that tells you what your personality is and how it affects different areas of your life. For instance I am an INFJ, a rare  species representing only 1% of the population. The NF is important because this type is attracted to words, and INFJ’s tend to become either creative writers or preachers.

Now if you find out you are an NF which is ‘intuitive’ and ‘feeling’ this means that you value and perceive possibilities over facts and that you are prone to making decisions based on value judgements over logic. It is an overstatement to say ‘if it feels good, do it,’ but that is close to the truth. I would bet that if you are an NF you are a good reader, love to read.

And if you are an INFJ, that means the I is an introvert who draws energy from within, someone more solitary, whereas an extrovert finds energy from being around people. The J is a ‘organized lifestyle’ as opposed to a flexible one.

I have two links to websites. This one will tell you about the four temperament types. And this one will tell you about four types of personalities, Guardians, Idealists, Artisans, and Rationalists.

Even if you do not feel you want to be a writer, but want to learn more about yourself, both sites and the aforementioned book are fun to explore. Then again you may not have the personality or temperament for it. But INFJ’s love it.

And of course, if you want to be a writer, no matter what your temperament or personality, no one is going to stop you.

 

How I dropped the bloody knife for Amazon after three days

Posted on by under creative writing, fiction writers

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The cover on the left was done for my murder mystery about a serial killer murdering sound men in 1927 Hollywood; a killer with the crazed idea that he could prevent sound movies by killing technicians working to bring talking pictures to reality.

The victims were all killed by a knife, all from behind, and without any struggle, as if the killer silently came up behind them. Since the story takes place during the silent era of motion pictures and the killer was silent in his methods, it created, I thought, a clever play on words, not a killer pun, but a good one nonetheless. That is the reason the woman who did the cover put in the knife. I liked the image because it reflected the era and method of the serial killer.

But my opinion does not matter. Amazon’s opinion does, whether I agree of disagree. They did allow the cover, it was there on my Amazon page for a few months and no doubt would still be there except for what I tried to do. When I tried to set up an ad campaign through Amazon Marketing, the campaign was rejected because of the cover. It is their policy not to show images considered threatening, among other things. They can set their rules, it’s their right, but I doubt that censoring the image of the bloody knife is going to lessen the violence in the world.

The content of the book is anything but violent, the murders off-screen as it were, and the descriptions of the crime scenes are not overly descriptive, gory, gruesome, or yucky.

There will be times in our lives, many times, where we are faced with compromises. A smart person knows what battles to fight, and when, and how and why. This is a compromise I can live with. The funny thing is, in reference to the three days, I changed the cover following the rejection and resubmitted. It was rejected again. The change was on my Kindle Direct page where I uploaded the revised cover. But I discovered, thanks to an e-mail from Amazon, that it can take up to 72 hours for the new image to migrate to my public Amazon page. Just when we think we live in a world where things can change in one or two clicks I find we are in the dark ages. Three days!

But the migration is complete, the ad campaign is live, and the world is wonderful.

What indie writers need to edit other than their stories

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An occupational hazard of writers is not being able to see the forest through the trees, though when you think about it how could you see the forest if you are stuck among trees. If you are standing on a plateau you can see both and that brings me to my point.

It is not about editing your story or novel. Writers spend a lot of time revising, proofreading, and fixing up. But there is one thing e-writers like myself sometimes forget. In my case my brain is slow, as I said in my headline, slower than a slug on salt. It is if I am standing among the trees, tall evergreens reaching high into the sky, but can not see the obvious.

The obvious is that no matter what app you use, Amazon for instance, a writer needs to periodically check his book descriptions. Your book description is your advertisement, your hook to lure the reader to your wonderful, colorful, engaging book. I have revised mine a number of times. I do not know how many times I have changed them. In the beginning the logline was descriptive, but from the plateau looking at the forest, not very interesting. It is more fun to be among the trees, unless there are snakes of course.

I have condensed, clarified, and tried to make the descriptions, which can be seen above, more attractive, more enticing. I don’t know if I am done or not. I thought I was done before, a few times. But every time I review them I see where I can make them better. It goes back to what many writers say, that before revising and proofreading story, let in sit for six months-too long for me-I ignore my story for three months-before looking at the story with fresh eyes.

But the same is true for a writers loglines, descriptions, and any type of wordage used to promote and advertise. They are a work in progress. If sales are not going well, then revise your ‘what is this book about’ loglines, descriptions, and so forth. Take another approach another angle. Nothing is written in stone except the Ten Commandments and no revisions need be done there, though many people pay no attention to them. Maybe they need a better logline.

Three books you should read and why

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The following three books are non-fiction and are about three historical people, all of whom were adventurous. It is not that you should read these books to learn about these people, but you should read them because each writer transports you to another place and time; in fact, you could say, each writer takes you to another world. Just like fiction, just like fantasy, except these stories are real. History does not have to be dry. These writers make history come alive.

Take for Example “Black Count” by Tom Reiss. If you have read “The Three Musketeers” you are familiar with Alexandre Dumas. No, this book is not about him, it is about his father General Alex Dumas, a black slave who rose to a generalship in France, unheard of in his day. At one time he outranked Napoleon, but we know being outranked never stopped Bonaparte. When reading about General Dumas’ adventurous life, the battles, the campaigns, and getting imprisoned, you can see where his son got the role model for some of his fictional characters. Not only did General Dumas have a swashbuckling life, but he was a great leader and soldier. All I can do is tell you about him, but Reiss, in his book, makes General Dumas come alive, just as he makes the time in which Dumas lived come alive. And by the way Reiss won the Pulitzer Prize.

Another Pulitzer winner was Stacy Schiff who won for her book on the wife of the great writer Vladimir Nabokov called “Vera.” The book of hers I read which could have won the Pulitzer had I been voting is “Cleopatra.” The first femme fatale may have been Eve, who hung out with serpents, ate forbidden fruit, and deceived her husband in the process, but she had nothing on Cleopatra. Cleo must have had charisma, cunning, ambition, and smarts to seduce world leaders like Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony, and though we know little of how she looked, she did have a big nose-check out her profile on ancient coins, she had to have had a captivating personality. But all of that takes second place to the time and place in which Schiff takes you. I read this book over a year ago and I can still see the main street in Alexandria in which Schiff describes animals, like elephants, being paraded down the wide avenue where vendors on both sides sold everything you need or want, one giant farmer’s market, and the description of Alexandria and the people who lived there, including a Jewish section, and you can see why the city was the New York of the ancient world.

The third book is “Rebel Yell,” by S.C. Gwynne. It is about Confederate general Stonewall Jackson. Talk about a complex man. He was considered, when teaching at VMI, a bit of a loser, both by students and faculty. Students made fun of him, the faculty ignored him. He was a private person, walked funny, his cap down to his eyes, prayed everyday, near fanatical about religion, talked little, and definitely not a people person. So how do you explain his brilliant tactics during the Civil War, who became a hero to the Confederacy for his beating Union generals. Of course it is true many of the Union generals like McClellan were timid, but Jackson was still brilliant. And can you imagine this. A group of Union prisoners being marched down a southern street and when seeing Jackson riding towards them on horseback, broke away from their march and went up to Jackson and cheered him. It is one thing to be a hero to those who support you, but when does the enemy cheer a general on the other side. It was not an isolated incident. There is so much to learn in this book about the Civil War, things I never knew before and once again the theme is carried out in that you are transported to another time and place.

What I saw in these books were the snow in the alps as Dumas marched into battle; I saw the sand in the Egyptian desert through the eyes of both Dumas and Cleopatra; I saw battles, the horrors of the Civil War; I saw Cleopatra and Anthony plotting on a ship after a great feast; I saw conflicted people. These books appear to be biographies, but they are books of adventure that fiction writers could only hope to write.

Three reasons why you need to write for your health

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You do not have to write a novel or short story. I am talking about just writing.

Reason one. When I was in college I read-and I can’t remember who it was that said it-“How do I know what I think until I write it down?” But before you laugh and say “I know what I think” you might be surprised. For example I wrote film reviews for ten years. Once I thought I liked a certain movie,  but as I started to write the review I realized I was writing a bad review. It really was not as good as I thought. My brain, through writing my thoughts more coherently took the opposite course. And it surprised me. It happened on more than one occasion. There is something magical about putting words to work. It clarifies your thinking in surprising ways. So now I know what that writer meant.

Reason two.  Try a journal and keep track of your progress towards goals. I keep track of what I eat so as not to overdo the sugar intake, which is worse than calories. Keep sugar down, unless it comes with maple bars, ice cream, cakes, pies, or cookies. So you see writing a journal is important to your well being. Then years later looking back at your journal you can see how far you’ve come and can congratulate your self and celebrate with a maple bar.

Reason three. This is important as you get older, but writing keeps your brain active and by being active, it prevents atrophy. Getting back to reason one, writing forces you to think and in using Word.doc it forces your eyes to look at the keyboard, to see quickly hitting the right keys. I do not mean to make light of this. I truly believe it is good eye to finger coordination, and of course you are thinking of that you ware trying to say while doing this. It is a good exercise.

So those are my three reasons. An active brain is a healthy brain and a healthy brain is a healthier you.

Who wins, Amazon Rain Forest or Amazon.com

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The Amazon Rain Forest was created about 55 million years ago. This is an estimate, as Amazon.com, founded in 1994 and will be only 22 this year, was not selling calendars that many years ago, and as Einstein said, “Time is relative.” But clearly the Rain Forest is older. But older is not necessarily better.

The Rain Forest covers 2,700,000 square miles, or about the size of an Amzon.com warehouse. Humans began inhabiting the Rain Forest approximately 11,200 years ago-but again, there are no calendars to date this. Humans do not inhabit Amazon.com, it is a digital search engine inhabited by algorithms, pixels, and Reptilians from the home planet of Jeff Bezos. 

The Rain Forest has predators, many deadly, like the black caiman, jaguar (not the car), cougars, poison dart frogs (not all frogs kissed turn into princes), vampire bats (belavladisto lagosium), piranha and electric eels for swimmers, and of course the anaconda. Amazon.com also has predators. They are called trolls and these creatures with willful and malice fore thought and intention, write bad reviews, primarily of authors. These trolls are mean spirited bullies with poor self image, suffering from penis envy (they have none), and are jealous of anyone who can write a sentence, which these trolls-if you come across one of their reviews, clearly can not. Some have lizard-like skin and sit in a dank, dark room with cranked up music from artists nobody has heard of, a plate of stale maple bars sitting by the laptop as they attack anyone and everyone on any Internet venue.

But enough about my friends and relatives. The point is which is better, the Rain Forest or the Dot Com. Or perhaps, which is more important to the well being of humanity. The Rain Forest is needed for the vast amount of oxygen (or whatever it is that is good for us) the forest releases into the air. Plants, in case you have not heard, provide a livable atmosphere in which humans-that would be you and me-or you and I-live. If the Rain Forest, which has lost thousands of square miles due to deforestation, goes the way of the Dodo bird, then so will we because global warming will increase dramatically.

On the other hand Amazon.com provides everything you need or want in the entire global economy, and do so at low prices, better than Walmart, better than anything anywhere.

For instance if you click on “Loonies in the Dugout” above you will see this wonderful e-book for only 99 cents on Amazon. The Rain Forest will not sell this book, only Dot Com.

Okay, the Rain Forest wins, but don’t let that stop you from going to Amazon.com

Thanks for reading.

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