I am the world’s worst proofreader.
In light of my declaration of inadequacy, I take offense that I was targeted by digital gremlins. They were out to sabotage me, and indeed, they partially did. I really don’t need their help. I am perfectly capable of self-sabotage. The following is a true story.
My e-book “Loonies in Hollywood” was published on Kindle Direct a few years ago. I used an independent formatter where I proofread, then viewed changes on my Kindle app 250 times. The number came from a counter on the formatter, and the proofreading was over ten days. I knew I could not catch everything, but I had caught so much I considered something unworldly was going on.
There came a time when both my eyes and my mind were weary and bleary. Eager to publish I went ahead. Bad decision. sent a review copy to someone knowledgeable on the story I wrote. He emailed me a number of spelling and grammatical errors. I corrected all but one.
He had said there were times I used the word Edward when it should have been Edwin. I went to the formatter, did a search and replace for Edward, but it said there were no occurrences. He saw Edward, my formatter does not see Edward. I checked some pages where his name was likely to be found. I could not find Edward.
Two days later the book had a free day. The Edward-Edwin thing kept bothering me. Late in the day, that inner voice said to check the formatter one more time. I did another search and replace for Edward, and this time it found nine occurrences. What? One day none, another day nine. Truthfully, I was so confused, I am not sure what is name was. It could by Wally for all I know.
To go from zero occurrences to nine the reason must be e-world gremlins? I have heard rumors about them, even saw a documentary about them on the PCC Network (Paranormal-Cryptid-Conspiracy). Now I have had a personal encounter.
I republished the book in the middle of the free day; with I am sure, millions upon millions of eager readers wanting to devour my loony book.
But I had no choice; this is the e-world I live in, one where gremlins lay in wait like a collide rattler, ready to strike venom into my hopes, dreams, and livelihood.
Like I need any help.
This post was revised and edited from one of my previous posts on another website